"I want to take up the manager's job."
Kripa stood from her seat and looked at him, shocked. "What's the matter? You...manager's job...what?"
"I need the manager's job here." Arnav repeated himself.
"Why? Why do you need a job here?" She frowned but then her eyes went wide. "Are you...are you crying?" She exclaimed. She walked around the desk quickly and held him by the shoulders. "What's going on? Why are you crying? Why do you need a job here?"
"Unless you can somehow grant me permission to be on the premises here at any time...I need the job."
Kripa looked at him closely and crossed her arms. "Why do you need the job, Arnav? Why do you need permission to be on the premises?"
"Answer her question." Angad spoke up when Arnav didn't say anything.
Arnav looked to the side of the room, where Angad sat with his laptop. Arnav had completely missed his presence in his own hurries and worries.
"It's the only way...it's the only way I can be around her...around my kids." Arnav whispered.
Kripa frowned. "What are you going on about? I don't understand anything! What are you saying? Be around her? Her, who?"
"Khushi." Arnav said loud and clear.
Kripa's frown only got deeper. "I thought you two didn't get along...and�"
"Remember that day when you joked about our last names being the same? You asked if we were related. You were right. We are related. She's my wife." Arnav blurted at last, frustrated.
The shock in the room was so profound that it was almost a physical being. Kripa's frown was replaced by large eyes and a dropped jaw. Angad's face was much harder to read. The two exchanged a look and stared back at Arnav, waiting for explanations.
"She's my wife. Mrs. Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada. We were married nearly six years ago." Arnav pulled out his wallet opened it and handed it to Kripa.
Kripa became even more speechless as she looked at the two pictures of Arnav and Khushi. One was a pocket sized photo in which they were standing close, with Khushi's back against his chest, while his arms draped around her waist. The second picture was a casual picture of the two.
Angad walked to Kripa, grabbed the wallet out of her hand and looked at the pictures. Kripa looked at Arnav, still unable to say anything.
"Aditya and Amber..." Angad started and Arnav nodded.
"They're my kids." Arnav's eyes filled with tears and he swallowed a lump in his throat. "They're the reason why she left."
After what felt like a long time, Angad spoke up. "Let's sit and talk..."
The three took seats on the couches in the corner of the office and started speaking. Arnav started re-telling his story from when he'd met her to how they'd gotten married till how he had fallen in love with her through what he had done to her.
Kripa and Angad didn't interrupt his narration of the events, although, gasps were heard throughout the process. Kripa hadn't even realized that she'd been crying. Angad was very still and very quiet. Arnav, himself, felt all the anger and frustration at himself that he always did when he recalled the events. He went on with his story when no one spoke up.
"When I came here for the adoption...I ran into her at the Dargah and then the next day I met her here again...Then I realized how much she has changed...she's become just like I was before she came into my life...I only found out that Amber and Aditya existed two days ago." Arnav choked.
He waited for the outburst. He waited for the anger and accusations and bitter words from Angad and Kripa. But that stuff never came. He looked up at them and he saw Kripa frowning at Angad while he looked at her apologetically.
Kripa looked at Arnav in a way that he didn't quite understand. She got up and left after that, without a word. Arnav sighed and leaned his head back, covering his face with both hands. He let out a heavy breath once more, raking his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"I was afraid she'd react like that. I expected it...I deserve it." Arnav said quietly.
After a few seconds, Angad cleared his throat. "She's not too angry with you...she left because...because you reminded her of something..."
Arnav looked at Angad. Angad seemed lost in his own world of thoughts. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes until Angad cleared his throat.
"I'm obviously not happy with you after finding out what you did with Khushi but...as odd as this may sound...I understand your position."
Arnav was bewildered at Angad's comment. No one had ever expressed anything but anger at this particular confession of his.
"Since you came clean about your past...I'll tell you something...Once, when Kripa and I were newly married...I came very close to making the same mistake you did." Angad looked at the ground, clearly, still ashamed of himself.
Arnav took a couple of minutes to let that sink in. "But that isn't anywhere as bad as what I did...I actually raped her!"
"It's equally as bad, Arnav. You were drunk when you made that mistake...me, on the other hand...completely sober...sober but angry. The outcome was the same...I broke her trust too...I still can't look at her without feeling a little bit of that guilt...she still gets upset when she remembers...the only difference is that Khushi was strong enough to leave and start over again whereas Kripa stuck around for our families." Angad smiled sadly.
"I...I don't understand..."
"Kripa had said something about me which had angered me. On the day of my cousin's wedding, I cornered her in our room and tried to force myself on her to prove my manhood. At a point I realized what I was doing and I was able to stop myself but it was too late by then. I'd already hurt her, already broken her trust...It took a long time for her to forgive me...but she did...but I know that she still remembers it well...sometimes there are some things that you can forgive but can't forget...unfortunately..This is one of them...even though I'm forgiven...I know she will never forget...nor will I."
The two men sat in silence once again, regretting and repenting their mistakes. Half an hour passed by like that before Arnav decided to speak up.
"I'm guessing you met Khushi when she came here for this job?" Arnav questioned.
"Oh No. Met her when she came to our house in response to a rental add we'd put up. She showed up at our house pregnant and alone. Obviously, soon we figured out that she was trying to look for a job...so we offered her the only opening we had in our orphanage...at that time this place was small. It was a one room cabin attached to a small house with four rooms. We only had enough funds to support 10-15 children at a time." A ghost of a smile appeared on his face.
"Oh...but now your organization is a lot bigger" Arnav stated.
Angad nodded. "After she took up the job...she turned this place upside down. She ran various charity events to raise money for the orphanage. She is good at making relations with the society...She had put a lot of projects underway before she went on her maternity leave. Kripa and I finished the work she started...of course, she directed us from home...
"After Amber and Aditya were born and her maternity leave ended, she came back and got the orphaned kids enrolled in schools. And soon enough, with the work of the three of us...we were able to turn this small room into a building big enough to support, educate, feed, and care for over 50 children."
Arnav couldn't help but feel proud that his wife had made this transformation happen. "Sounds like Khushi...trying to fill happiness in people's lives."
Angad nodded. "It's true. She's a wonderful woman and it reflects in how great her kids have turned out. Of course I saw them the day they were born. My kids pretty much grew up with them. Khushi didn't stay with us for too long though. Soon after Amber and Aditya turned one, she bought her own house and moved there with them. Kripa and Khushi had become good friends really quickly...and that bond has only gotten stronger. I'm surprised she has never mentioned her past to Kripa..."
"I can see why she didn't." Kripa spoke up from the doorway. "No woman wants to recall such an event in her life...Khushi has two living proofs in her life...and that's more of a reminder than she probably needs."
Arnav stood up, followed by Angad. "I swear, Kripa, I didn't--"
Kripa put up her hand to interrupt him. "I know. You were drunk. From how much I know, I am sure that you would have never done that if you weren't drunk." She sighed heavily. "I believe you."
Arnav felt genuinely happy for a glorious minute following Kripa's words. No one, in the last five years, had said those words to him. All he wanted was someone to believe in him. He didn't need the pitiful looks his family gave him nor did he need to bitter words--no one could despise him more than himself.
"You still hold some importance in her life, you know? There's a reason why she has never taken off her engagement ring and her wedding band. There's a reason why she has kept your last name. There is a reason why she has turned down every man I've tried to set her up with..."
"Don't Kripa. You're making me hopeful..." Arnav warned, his voice shaking.
"You should be hopeful. It will be difficult for her to forgive you...but it's not impossible. Considering that at one point in my life, you were my best friend...now she is my best friend...I don't want you to be separated."
Arnav started to speak but Kripa interrupted. "I want to know what's going on her mind though. She still hasn't mentioned anything about her past to me. I won't ask her. She'll tell me when she wants to but I have a plan to find out what she thinks or feels."
Angad and Arnav exchanged a look. Angad shrugged. Kripa smiled when the two looked back at her.
She turned on her heels and began to walk out of the office. "You start tomorrow at 9 a.m Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada. Make sure you're on time. Khushi detests unpunctual employees."
As her words registered slowly, a smile appeared on Arnav's face a few seconds after Kripa was gone. Angad smiled and slapped Arnav's back encouragingly.
"Go get your wife, buddy!"
Arnav was so happy with this new development in his life that he gave Angad a brotherly hug, officially making Angad the only guy apart from Akash to receive a hug from the mighty ASR.
He went home that night and talked to his nephew, Sahil, on the phone for over an hour. Payal and Akash also had a chance to speak to him and they were delighted that they were hearing him being so cheerful and optimistic than he had in the past five years. Akash wanted to ask the reason behind the happiness but he didn't dare interrupt it. He was afraid that his question would remind Arnav of Khushi and he would get upset again.
Khushi on the other hand was pretty upset. She was missing the Raizada's more than she ever had. Seeing their pictures brought to the surface the guilt she'd always felt. The guilt of punishing them for something Arnav had done. She sat on her couch, flipping through the pictures until she felt a soft touch on her cheeks. She looked to the side and saw her son wiping her tears.
"Who made you cry mama? Was it a bad guy? I'll call superman and he will punish bad guy!" Aditya said angrily.
"No...It's not a bad guy. Mama was crying because she was sad."
"Why are you sad mama?" He asked in his cute tone.
Khushi sniffed. "Nothing Adi...Mama was just missing her friend..."
"When I miss you, I come and meet you. You should go meet your friend!" He said enthusiastically.
"I can't Beta..." Khushi explained calmly.
"Why?"
"Because he is very far away..."
"Just like Papa?" Aditya asked an innocent question which shot ice pricks through Khushi's heart.
All she could do was nod at him while another tear fell out of her eye. Aditya wiped it off her cheek.
"Mama?" Aditya spoke after a couple of minutes of silence. "Is Papa like Buddy?"
Khushi's heart skipped multiple beats and then started racing in her chest. She felt a fresh wave of fear running in her veins.
"I like Buddy. He's fun! Can he come to our house to play with us tomorrow mama?" Aditya went on when Khushi didn't respond.
Khushi looked at her son, completely bewildered. How was she to answer the child's innocent questions? How could she tell him that their 'Buddy' was indeed their father?
"It's late Adi...It's almost your bedtime. Go brush your teeth. I'll go get your pajamas. Where is Amby?"
"Di is brushing her teeth." Adi got off the couch and walked into the washroom.
With a heavy heart, Khushi walked into the kids' room and picked out their pajamas. As she readied them for bed, she once again noticed the similarities between them and Arnav. She tucked them in, read them their bedtime story, and gave each one a good night kiss.
Just as she was leaving Aditya's bedside, she felt a tug on her dupatta. Her heart racing once again, she turned around to look at him.
"Can I get one more good night kiss?" He asked sweetly.
Khushi smiled, bent down and kissed his forehead once more. She walked out of their room and into her own, shutting the door behind her and leaning her back against it.
Who made you cry mama? I'll call superman and he will punish the bad guy. Is Papa like Buddy? I like Buddy. He's fun. Can he come to our house and play with us tomorrow?
Khushi slid down to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. Aditya couldn't bear to see tears in her eyes, just like Arnav. Aditya also often tugged on her dupatta much like Arnav had done a few times.
No matter how much she had tried in the past, she hadn't been able to forget Arnav. Not a day passed when she hadn't thought of him. The one fact that annoyed her the most was that after all this time, her most terrible memory of him hadn't been able to stain all the good and happy memories they had created together.
She could feel herself losing herself slowly...losing to the storm of memories that was surrounding her.
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