She could see he was mulling over her words. His expression was serious, his eyes distant as he thought about what she had said. A small frown appeared on his face at one point. A long minute passed before he took a deep breath in, let it out and then spoke.
"I'm sorry...I can't promise that."
Before she could reprimand him, a knock on the door interrupted them. Arnav, however, was glad for the interruption.
"Come in." Arnav said loud and clear.
Khushi glowered at Arnav. The door opened, and a smiling Kripa stepped in and rushed to Arnav's side. She greeted him with a hug and then smiled at Khushi.
"Congratulations. I hear everything has been sorted." Kripa said excitedly.
"Yeah...the girl just gave her statement. I just need to take care of some formalities." Khushi stood up and glared at Arnav once again.
Kripa raised her eyebrows at Arnav questioningly as soon as Khushi left. Arnav just shrugged in response sheepishly.
*
An hour and a half later, Arnav stepped out of the car and looked at Khushi's house with a smile on his face. Even though he was unsure of whether or not he'd done the right thing by promising her this, he was glad he did. He would see his kids in a couple of minutes. He would be surrounded by his loved ones. He was home.
Kripa opened the door, closely followed by Khushi and Arnav. Anjali, Kripa, Angad, Sur, Prateek, Aman who was holding on to Ishan, Amber, and Aditya stood in front of him. Khushi joined them as they cheered and applauded for him. Arnav froze in his place at the entrance and took in the small crowd that had practically become his family in the last few months he'd spent in India. They all stood under a handmade poster that read Welcome Home'.
Amber and Aditya ran to him and hugged his legs. Sur and Prateek also followed suit. Kripa and Angad patted his shoulder encouragingly as he walked into the living room accompanied by the quartet of kids. Aman gave his boss cum friend a brotherly sideways hug. A somewhat tearful Anjali gave him a hug and whispered Thank you' before she pulled away. Still holding onto his arms, she looked at him squarely in the face. "You're someone's hero!" Anjali chirped, chuckling.
As Anjali stepped away, Arnav looked at Khushi and found her grinning proudly. Her eyes expressed nothing but happiness. He couldn't help the smile that appeared on his own face. He held her gaze until she walked up to him and gave him a hug. Automatically, his arms wound around her and his chin found a resting place on her shoulder, the earlier clouds of gloom momentarily clearing out of his mind. She didn't have to say anything to him. She had already opened up and told him her thoughts in the last couple of days. The hug they shared now was enough to pass her thoughts to him once again.
Kripa and Anjali cooed a long Aww' and a chuckling Khushi pulled away from the hug. She looked at him with twinkling eyes and squeezed his uninjured arm gently. She uttered her next words in a quiet voice as if they were meant just for his ears. "I'm proud of you."
As soon as Khushi moved aside, Aditya and Amber ran up to him again. He kneeled in time to gather them in a big hug. Kids were such innocent beings, expressing whatever they felt openly, without filtering anything. So honest. So pure. Why did we grow up and learn the ability to hide things? Why couldn't we just be as honest as when we were kids? Arnav definitely envied them this. How he wished he could just go ahead and say what was on his mind all the time.
"Does it hurt?" Amber gingerly touched the bandage on his head and brought him out of his thoughts.
"Nope...because I got my healing kisses this time." Arnav threw a glance at Khushi, who looked at him with widened eyes, a hint of red appearing on her cheeks. Angad, Kripa, Anjali, and Aman suppressed their giggles.
"I knew it wouldn't hurt you. You're so strong and tough!" Aditya chirped, patting Arnav's biceps. "And you're always fighting bad guys!"
"We thought of a new name for you." Amber said excitedly as the two kids pulled him towards the couch.
"Did you, now?" Arnav asked with raised eyebrows.
Amber nodded vigorously, reminding him of an excited Khushi. Amber exchanged a glance with Aditya.
"Super Buddy!" The two chimed in together.
"Super buddy?" Arnav asked, chuckling.
"Yeah...just like superman...you fight bad guys all the time...so you're super Buddy!" Aditya grinned proudly.
The four kids gave out three loud chants of "Super Buddy" while the adults just chuckled at their innocence.
"Good job! I think that's a perfect name..." Angad patted Aditya's back and ruffled Amber's hair.
"Angad uncle! You ruined my hair!" Amber whined cutely. Sur simply looked scandalized. The two young girls stalked off into amber's room while Aditya and Prateek laughed boyishly before running out into the yard.
Angad sat on the couch opposite of Arnav's, pulling Kripa next to him and wrapping an arm intimately around her waist. Aman and Anjali also took seats next to each other, leaving the last seat for Khushi which was inevitably next to Arnav.
Khushi took a seat next to him and immediately she felt him slightly shift uncomfortably. The gloom clouds had returned back into that mind of his. This didn't go unnoticed by the couple sitting in front of them who exchanged a look. Not wanting to make him more uncomfortable, she stood up right away and announced that she would bring refreshments. Anjali also stood up and followed offering to help.
As the two women got busy in the kitchen, Khushi noticed that Anjali was lost in thoughts and barely paying attention to the task at hand. The cup she was filling with coffee was already overflowing.
"Anjali..?" Khushi called out to her.
Anjali jumped and the kettle nearly dropped out of her hand. She placed it on the counter and turned to look at Khushi.
"Something wrong?" Khushi raised her eyebrows.
Anjali seemed to contemplate whether or not to say anything. Khushi was about to tell her that she didn't have to if she didn't want to when Anjali took a deep breath, readying herself.
"Aman asked me out on a date." Anjali said as if the whole sentence was one single word.
Khushi took a second to process and then couldn't help but grin at her. "And...?"
"And what?" Anjali frowned.
Khushi rolled her eyes. "And what did you say?"
"I...I said...I need to think about it."
"That's fair enough...do you like him, though?" Khushi asked, almost laughing at her own question. She already knew the answer to that one. The sparks between the two were so obvious.
"I shouldn't." Anjali answered, lowering her eyes.
"That's not my question...I asked do you...not should you." Khushi said smugly.
"But Khushi...my past...and Sh-Shyam...Ishan...I'm a single mother...I'm not suitable for him..." Anjali said sadly, suddenly too overwhelmed to try and form complete sentences.
Khushi held Anjali's shoulders and turned her to face her. "He thinks you are suitable enough. That's why he asked you out on a date. He knows you're a single mother. He obviously has figured out that you have a past. H has fallen for the woman you are right now. He has-" Khushi spoke calmly, but Anjali cut her off.
"I have a dark past, Khushi...I...Who wants to marry a girl who was raped?" Anjali said bitterly.
"It was not your fault!" Khushi said a little louder than she wanted to. Khushi wasn't about to stand there and watch all these people get sucked into this dark hole called the past. Any time they seemed to move forward and move on, the past reached out with the clawed hands and pulled them back into the dark abyss. First Arnav, now Anjali. Khushi refused to let them go through this.
"Still...he doesn't know...I'm sure if he finds out, he'll walk away." Anjali smiled sadly.
"Stop trying to avoid my question. Answer me clearly...do you like him or not?" Khushi spoke sternly.
Anjali looked up at her and nodded. Khushi smiled. That was all she needed to know.
"Then give him a chance. Don't judge him based on how you think he'll react...you're just assuming things. If you want to give this a chance, and I honestly suggest that you do, and if you feel more comfortable with him knowing your past...then tell him. Tell him the truth and then deal with what happens. If he walks away then he wasn't worth a shot in the first place, and if he decides that it doesn't matter to him...then you might just discover the one who's meant for you." Khushi advised.
"How do I trust another man after everything that I've seen?" Anjali countered.
Khushi raised her eyebrows. "You were all for me giving Arnav a chance. I'm not asking you to trust the one who put you through hell...I would never ask you to give Shyam another chance...but as much as I know Aman...He's nothing like Shyam...or Arnav for that matter."
"What do you mean?" Anjali asked confusedly.
"See...you don't know that Arnav is known for his colossal temper." Khushi smirked.
Anjali gasped. "No way! Arnav? Angry? But...he's so...quiet...and...collected."
Khushi chuckled. "Quiet, yes. Collected, yes. But he used to have a bad temper...that temper earned him the title of a Lad Governor from me."
Anjali grinned knowingly, remembering that she had called him that. She had even shortened the Lad Governor' to LG'.
"But that's not the point...Aman is not horrible like Shyam and he doesn't have a temper like Arnav used to...Aman is calm, understanding, and very very patient. Trust me. He wouldn't have put up with Arnav all these years if he wasn't an epitome of patience." Khushi giggled.
"Hey!" Arnav said defensively from the entrance.
Anjali giggled seeing the look on his face while Khushi turned a beetroot red out of embarrassment at being caught talking about him behind his back. She composed herself quickly. How much of the conversation did he hear? Khushi ignored the question in her mind and focused on the last bit.
"What? Are you denying that you were a mountain of anger walking around your company, making all your employees cower and run for cover with a single glare?" Khushi arched an eyebrow.
Arnav smiled sheepishly as he walked up to them. "Everyone except you...and Aman." Arnav looked at Anjali and smiled. "I still don't understand how he puts up with me."
Khushi gave Anjali and I-told-you-so look. Anjali looked between the two and excused herself to give them privacy. Arnav stood in front of Khushi, the counter separating the two. Suddenly, the light-hearted feel lifted and Arnav frowned seriously.
"You would never let her give Shyam another chance...then why did you give me one?" Arnav asked as soon as Anjali had walked out of the kitchen.
Khushi's head snapped up to look at him and her eyes flashed. Arnav swallowed, suddenly regretting asking the question.
"Don't you ever...ever compare yourself to Shyam!" Khushi spoke through clenched teeth, making her last word sound like a swear word. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A couple seconds later, she looked at him again, her face strangely composed. He had heard quite a bit of the conversation and Khushi knew she would have to choose her words very carefully.
"I've already given you my reasons for why I decided to give us another opportunity...and trust me...had Shyam and Anjali's situation been anything like ours...I would have supported her decision if she wanted to give him another chance...but it's not like that." She looked at him meaningfully.
"What happened with them?" Arnav couldn't help but ask.
Khushi smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, that's not my story to tell..."
Arnav nodded once. "I understand."
Things became silent then. Arnav seemed to be lost in his own thoughts while Khushi contemplated over something. A few minutes later, she decided it was best to ask.
"Why did you say you can't make the second promise?" She looked at him bravely.
Instantly, she saw the storm of pain, guilt, and regret stir in his eyes. She wanted to look away but she couldn't. He tried to form an answer to her question but he couldn't come up with anything that Khushi will find satisfactory. Nothing that she will believe right away and the truth wasn't an answer she would like to hear. But she knew him better than that. He should have known that she would know whether or not he put it in words for her.
"Seeing Priya reminded you of the past, didn't it?" Khushi asked.
He looked away and stared at the wall for a few seconds before nodding. No one spoke for the next couple of minutes.
"Let's get you settled in your room." Khushi said in a casual tone.
Arnav was surprised at the sudden change in the topic but soon he realized where this was headed. Helplessly, he turned and started following Khushi to the guest room.
The memories had resurfaced today in the hospital and he hadn't been able to shove them away. With everyone else's presence, it was easier to avoid looking at Khushi or being too close to her but now in the confines of the guest room, he wasn't sure how he would manage it without hurting her feelings.
"I need to talk to you. Sit." Khushi said calmly and pointed to the bed as she closed the door behind her.
She took a seat next to him as soon as he sat down and before he could move away, she placed a hand on his shoulder and enclosed his hands in her free hand.
"I know what's on your mind Arnav. I know what you're trying to do." She spoke in a quiet voice. "And I understand...I really do. You can take your time...whatever time you need to clear your head. There's just one thing I want to tell you. You may not be able to undo the past but you have neutralized your actions.
"Arnav...whatever happened five years ago was out of my hands and to some extent; it was out of your hands too...but that's done. What you did yesterday...by saving Priya...is prevent her from going through that...you prevented her from turning into another Khushi or another Anjali...anyone would risk their life to save a loved one but not many would do that for a stranger. You did. You risked your life to save her without a second thought...that girl will be forever grateful to you and I can't tell you how grateful I am to you as another woman."
He looked up at her at last with a heartbroken expression. "Don't." He whispered brokenly and looked away, staring at their entwined hands on his lap. He couldn't stand her being grateful to him for anything. He didn't deserve it. Not after what he had done to her.
Khushi shook her head, adamant about her decision. "You need to understand what you have done by stepping out of that car last night. It may not seem so significant to you but you have no idea what it meant for Priya. Whatever you did five years ago...your act last night is the closest you can get to undoing the past. A positive and a negative balance each other out Arnav. You made a mistake, yes...but when you saved Priya...in some way...you have balanced it out. If you've accepted your mistake and are repenting it...be sure to give yourself credit for saving her...give yourself credit where it's due. Don't overlook that."
She gave him time to let all her words sink in meanwhile trying to gather her own thoughts. A few long minutes later, she spoke again.
"Remember what I told you on the beach that day...about forgiving yourself first?" She waited for Arnav to respond. When he nodded in affirmative, she squeezed his hands and went on. "I think it's the perfect time to forgive yourself. Not because you have been punished enough...but because last night you truly earned yourself that forgiveness."
His head snapped around to look at her. Shock was written all over his face and his eyes showed the slightest tinge of uncertainty. But she was a mountain of calm and kindness.
"It makes sense, Arnav. Like I said, you've balanced out the scale as much as possible and I think it's the perfect time for that new beginning for yourself. Just think about it...you can take your time making a decision." Khushi smiled warmly at him before leaning in a planting a small kiss in the middle of his forehead.
She gave his hands one last squeeze and walked to the door. With one hand still on the doorknob, she turned to look at him.
"Arnav?" She waited until he looked up at her. "Do you trust me?" She asked seriously.
"Of course I do. With my life." Arnav responded right away.
"Then trust my trust in you. I've given us one more chance...I think it's high time you give yourself another chance." Khushi gave him another warm smile and then disappeared out the door.
*
[Purple Text = Arnav recalling Khushi's words, Blue Text = Arnav's inner voice]
"Not because you have been punished enough...but because last night you truly earned yourself that forgiveness." Khushi's words echoed in his mind over and over again.
Arnav sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He had spent the rest of the afternoon and a better part of the evening in the guest room, thinking about Khushi's words. He knew what she was trying to say. He understood what she was trying to say, too. But something kept stopping him.
"If you're seeking for forgiveness, you have to start with yourself. How can you expect someone to forgive you when you can't forgive yourself? But it's true, I just might forgive you the day you forgive yourself."
It didn't feel right...to forgive what he'd done. Even if he had to forgive himself. Forgiving others was easy. Blaming others is easy, too. Forgiving yourself for something when the guilt refuses to leave is twice as hard.
"When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you can sure change the future. Change the future is what we're trying to do, isn't it?"
"The point is that I am still Mrs. Khushi Singh Raizada. The point is that I am finally giving myself a shot at happiness...that's why I'm here."
He knew, however, that she was right. They couldn't possibly aim for a happy future if they couldn't let go of the horrid past. Khushi, he knew, was way ahead of him when it came to that. How had she managed to give him a chance despite all he'd done, how she'd managed to lock away the horrid memories, how she seemed to be so comfortable around him, and how she tried to help him move on was beyond him. Shouldn't it be her who had a harder time letting go?
"Arnav...you can't hold on to every single emotion for ever...you need to learn to let go"
"You can't give up after convincing me to give this a chance. Wasn't it you who said that you would do anything to make this opportunity count?"
Yes, he had said that. He had promised that he wouldn't give up. Yet, it was him who couldn't keep the past out of his mind. He couldn't help the guilt that crept its way in whenever he was around Khushi. A part of him really wanted to let go of the guilt so that he could dive into this opportunity with Khushi. But another part of him, a significantly larger part, always taunted him and haunted him with the memories.
"The only person who can help you get out of this ASR mode...this purgatory...is me. And the only person who can help me through this is you."
"No matter how much you try, sometimes things just fall apart and there is nothing you can do to prevent that. Sometimes things get ruined and there's nothing you can do to change that. But persistence and honest efforts will get you where you want to be."
Hell, he wanted to be able to look at her without feeling guilty. He wanted her to be able to look into his eyes and not see guilt or regret...he wanted her to see nothing but endless love there. Love for her. He didn't want to shut her out yet he ended up doing just that every time past knocked on the door. He wanted to keep the memories at bay so that she wouldn't have to remember. He wanted to be able to let her in and not have her see how much pain was hiding within him.
For all that, he would have to let it all go. All of it. The guilt, the pain, the regret.
But how do you let go of something that has become a part of you?
Khushi is a part of you too. So are Amber and Aditya. Is your guilt and regret more important than them? Khushi wants you to let go, too. She has made it clear, hasn't she? Over and over again. You promised her you weren't going to give up. Your life depends on it, Arnav. Don't screw this up. You've done it once...don't do it again. She said she can't forgive you until you forgive yourself. Today, she asked you to forgive yourself. Do you realize that that means she's ready to finally forgive you? You just have to be willing to let her. And you do that by doing what she said...forgive yourself.
Arnav ran his hand through his head frustrated with his state of mind. There were too many conflicting emotions. But his conscious, which agreed with Khushi wasn't going to let the pessimistic Arnav take over today. Even if that meant putting the great ASR on a guilt trip again.
She stood by you during this case. Even you know it would have made more sense for her to doubt you. She had every right to. Her mind even told her to. But she chose to believe you anyway. She's giving everything she's got to this new opportunity and you're insulting her efforts by constantly remembering the past. By continuing to succumbing to the guilt, you're insulting the trust that she has placed in you again. There is more at stake for her than you, giving you a chance must have been difficult for her given the circumstances and yet, she's the one putting in more effort when it really should be you.
Arnav stopped pacing for a minute and thought over the words that seemed to echo in some distant part of his mind. He could feel the start of a headache and the tiny lump forming in his throat.
You have gotten your share of punishment from others. You have punished yourself enough and she doesn't even know about that. She doesn't know what shenanigans you've been up to in the past five years as a means of punishment. But now, if you don't let go, you're dragging her into the nightmare that you live. Every time you remember, she'll remember. Every time she sees the guilt in your eyes, on your face, and in your actions, she'll remember why it's there in the first place. Every time she sees you wake up from that nightmare, she'll remember. If you want her to stop remembering the past, you have to stop. You have to let go.
Arnav paced back and forth in front of the foot of the bed, trying to shut his mind up but his mind wasn't going to listen to him today. It went on a rant, constantly repeating the same sentences. Soon, Khushi's voice had joined in and it suddenly felt like someone had turned up the volume on his imaginary headphones. All he could hear was a mixture of his inner voice, mingled with Khushi's voice.
You have to let go. Let go. You're insulting her efforts. You've earned it. Forgive yourself. You have to let go. You have to let go. Let go. You're insulting her efforts. You've earned it. Forgive yourself. You have to let go.
"You can't lag behind. It has to be equal give and take." Kripa had told him once.
Arnav's head spun with the whirlpool of thoughts. A sharp knock on the door brought the whirlpool to an eerie halt abruptly. He stopped pacing and looked at the door.
"Come in." He called out when the person knocked again and even to himself, he sounded like a completely different person.
A second later, Khushi poked her head in and smiled widely at him.
"Dinner time! And you better get there before Angad and I clear off everything." Khushi teased and with another smile, turned to walk away.
"Khushi?" He called out to her. She turned to look at him questioningly. They stood in silence for a few seconds and then Khushi raised her eyebrows when he didn't say anything. The truth was, he didn't know why he had called out to her in the first place.
So feeling like a fool, he walked to her and shook his head in negative.
"Oh...kay then." Khushi frowned in slight confusion.
Arnav gave her a sheepish smile. Khushi chuckled and shook her head. Amber and Aditya ran in at the moment and whisked him away to the kitchen, leaving Khushi to follow the trio.
The next hour or so her kitchen was filled with chatter and laughter and sometimes Ishan's annoyed cries. The small dining table was occupied by the four children, Arnav, Aman, and Anjali. Khushi and Kripa sat on the kitchen's countertop while Angad leaned next to them and ate from Kripa's plate. As usual, Arnav and Khushi stole several glances and smiles at each other.
Khushi's heart did a weird flip every time she saw him feeding a morsel to either Aditya or Amber. She loved watching the father-twins trio. She could sit and watch their interactions all day. It gave her a sense of peace and completeness.
She sighed inwardly. She had done her part. She had given Arnav another chance...she had given their relationship another chance. She had even begun trusting him. All she could do now was hope. Hope that he takes her advice, hope that he tries to let go of the past, hope that he forgives himself so that she can forgive him. So that they can, finally, move on.
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An Arnav-Khushi Fan-Fiction
24 January 2015
22 January 2015
Chapter 34: A Statement, a Promise, and a Promise Denied
"I was thinking how one decision can change the course of your life...my decision to not listen to you that day and go in for that meeting changed our lives...it changed everything...and my decision to come here to adopt a child changed our lives again...all it takes is one decision...I'd never really given much thought to how many lives could be connected to an individual's decision..."
"Sometimes one decision is all it takes."
She chuckled sadly as the truth of those words sunk in again. Life had been going just fine. She was finally finding her happiness with him. She was finally falling in love with him all over again. He was finally easing up and opening up to her and then BAM! His decision to step out of the car to help that girl had landed them in this wretched situation.
Not that she regretted it for even a moment. He had helped her. He had saved her from becoming another Khushi or worse...another Anjali. She was grateful to him. She respected him for this. She was glad that Arnav's interference had saved her from further trauma. But she didn't like what the accusation had done to him.
She hated it. She hated seeing that glint of fear in his eyes, the obvious plea floating alongside that fear. The fear of losing her. She hated seeing him being unable to believe that she trusted him. She hated seeing him so vulnerable. She was worried about what would happen tomorrow. Would the girl remember that he was the one who tried to help her? Would the trauma of the situation cloud her memories? Would she mistake him for one of those ruthless men who were trying to hurt her? Would she have been able to differentiate between her assaulter and her saviour?
Khushi was brought out of her thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Kripa take a seat next to her. Kripa looked at her once and then both ladies turn to look at the blooming yard.
"Regretting trusting him?" Kripa asked tentatively.
"No." Khushi's reply was immediate and firm. It made Kripa smile.
"Then why are you awake at this hour, looking so lost in thoughts? And from the look of that black coffee, it seems to me that you don't want to sleep..." Kripa said light heartedly.
Khushi gave her a small smile and stared at the bench again. A couple minutes passed in silence as Khushi tried to put her thoughts into proper sentences.
"I'm worried about him." Khushi spoke at last. And I miss him. She added mentally. Oh, God! She was missing him!
She heard Kripa take a deep breath and in and let it out before saying, "me too."
Khushi turned to look at her, surprised at the tone of understanding.
"I know what you're thinking...you're worried that he'll get a fresh reminder of the past, right?" Kripa asked.
Khushi wanted to scoff at that but didn't. If only Kripa knew about the horrid nightmares that reminded him of the past every freaking morning. If only she knew how he woke up every day screaming for Khushi. If only she knew that those nightmares robbed him of peace to the point where he needed anti-anxiety medication go back to sleep. But Khushi wasn't about to say anything about that. Their past was exposed to too many people as it was. Khushi pushed the thought out of her mind and went on a rant about her fears.
"I'm worried that he'll retreat back into his shell...I saw it in his eyes today...the fear...the guilt...it was all there. He seemed alright when I left but I don't think him being alone all these hours will help. He'll over-think it all and try to convince himself that I don't believe him. I'm almost certain that I'll see that agonized expression on his face when I go back tomorrow." Khushi said quietly but the frustration was evident in her voice.
Kripa placed a reassuring hand on Khushi's knee. "That's where you step in, Khushi. You know his guilt isn't leaving him...he's trying to let go but something is stopping him..."
The freaking nightmares are stopping him! Khushi thought with a frown. How the hell is he supposed to let go when it keeps haunting him every night?
A few seconds later, Kripa went on. "But your presence changes that for him. When you're around, he seems to get some sort of reassurance that he isn't imagining all this. And with this stupid case in the way...he might remember things again and there might be a change in him again but you'll just have to be with him through this. As long as you're by his side, he'll make it out of this just fine."
Khushi thought over Kripa's words. Her presence made a difference to him, she knew. She could sense it in his behaviour, in his body language. He'd made it as obvious as black on white that he hated the goodbyes at her doorstep or at the orphanage. The twinkle in his eyes every time she asked him to stay over made it obvious. And then an idea struck her. She turned to Kripa with a smile on her face.
"Can you do me a favour, Kripa?"
---
Khushi reached the hospital early in the morning with her lawyer and Kripa. Leaving the lawyer to speak to the inspector, and leaving Kripa to take Aman's place, Khushi walked into Arnav's room. Relief washed over her when she saw him smile at her. So he hadn't retreated back into his shell. Thanking Devi maiyya in her mind, she walked to his bedside, grinning widely. She kissed his forehead in a greeting and sat down on the stool next to his bed.
"How are you feeling?" She inquired, eyeing the bandage on his forehead.
He shrugged and took her hand in his. "I feel fine. Better than last night."
Khushi smiled at him. "You look like you've slept well. I guess no punishment for you."
He gave her a small smile. "Too bad I can't say the same...you look tired."
Khushi swallowed. Even after speaking to Kripa last night, Khushi hadn't been able to get much sleep. She was hoping he wouldn't notice but who was she kidding? He was Arnav Singh Raizada. Of course he noticed.
"Is something bothering you?" He asked when she didn't give him a verbal response.
"I was worried about you." She said honestly. "But now that I know that you're feeling fine and that you've slept well...I'm not worried." Okay, so maybe it wasn't the whole truth but she wasn't going to tell him what was really bothering her. If he didn't seem to be retreating back into his shell, why would she plant the idea in his head by mentioning it?
From that point, the two flowed into a general conversation and inquiries. He asked about Amber and Aditya and she told him that they were asleep when she got home and that they've told him to get better soon before she left this morning. They had obviously tried to accompany Khushi to the hospital but she had decided that she didn't want them to be here. There was no need to expose them to police, and more possible arguments between Arnav and them or Khushi and them.
After about half an hour, Inspector Rao walked in accompanied by Khushi's lawyer and Khushi's smile vanished immediately. She glared at the cop, her anger from last night returning. Arnav squeezed her hand to calm her down.
"We need to take his statement." Inspector Rao spoke stiffly.
"Mrs. Raizada, you will have to step out for a few minutes." Mr. Sharma, her lawyer said politely.
Khushi looked at Arnav and he nodded at her to go ahead. Khushi stood up, squeezed his hand once, and left reluctantly. If she had her way, she would have stayed but her lawyer knew what he was doing. If he suggested that she should leave, it was probably necessary. She found Aman in the hallway, looking haggard.
"Aman!" She whined. "I told you to go home!"
"B-But ASR..." Aman started and Kripa rolled her eyes.
"Your boss has his wife here, Aman. You need sleep! You look like a zombie right now. And I told you the plan right? I can't get into Arnav's house without you there." Kripa tried to explain.
Aman gave in. Kripa smiled at the man and turned to face Khushi.
"As soon as I'm done, I'll come back, okay? You don't worry...this will be over by sunset tonight." Kripa smiled encouragingly. With an exchange of hugs, Aman and Kripa left.
Khushi paced impatiently outside his room for nearly twenty five minutes. Her patience ran out by the minute and it took everything she had to not barge into that room and scream at the stupid inspector. Just as the thought crossed her mind, the door opened and the ruthless man stepped out with her lawyer. Mr. Sharma nodded curtly to the cop and headed over to Khushi.
"Don't worry. He hasn't said anything different from what you told me. He just seems to be sucked into this case because he was found at the scene. I just don't understand how all five of them were unconscious. Mr. Raizada said that one of them had been knocked unconscious by him during the brawl. We'll have to wait for the girl's statement, as you know. All she needs to confirm is that Mr. Raizada was trying to help her and that's that. After that, Mr. Raizada will have to be a witness for the others' trial. In fact, if we get her statement today, he can go home right after."
Khushi took a deep breath and nodded. She had figured this much already but it was assuring to have a lawyer echo your thoughts. All she could do at this point was stay with Arnav and wait for the girl to wake up.
---
After three hours of nervous waiting and random conversations later, Khushi and Arnav finally found themselves interrupted by a knock on the door. Arnav's heart thudded nervously as he watched inspector Rao walk in. Arnav felt the same nervousness reflect in Khushi's hold on his hand which instantly tightened. Nervously or encouragingly, he couldn't tell.
Mr. Sharma followed inspector Rao in with another lawyer.
"Miss Priya has regained her consciousness. She has given her statement already." Inspector Rao spoke smugly. "According to her, there were three men who abducted her from an isolated area of the street. She struggled with them and tried to escape but she was outnumbered. She mentioned that a fourth man had stepped in during this time and he had gotten into a physical fight in an attempt to save her."
The grey clouds broke through to let a ray hope in. Khushi's breaths slowed down as she waited for the inspector to continue. Arnav's nervousness still existed. He knew there was more of the story and the smug expression on Rao's face didn't make him feel any calmer.
The silence in the room was eerie. No one spoke or even as much as moved for the next few seconds.
"Mr. Raizada, her statement coincides with yours to some extent. Of course we have the statement of the other two culprits as well, though they deny being involved. We have asked her to identify the abductors and the fourth man who tried to help her. She has confirmed that the man who died last night was one of the four men present and that he was the one that she had shot. You have any other changes you would like to make to your statement before we bring her in to identify you?"
"No." Arnav said flatly.
The policeman nodded at him and went to the door. Arnav and Khushi exchanged a glance. They broke they eyelock when they heard the door close again.
Arnav turned around to face the inspector and he could see a shivering figure behind him. Two more policemen stood behind her. Inspector Rao moved aside and Arnav's breath hitched. Khushi took a quick glance at the girl and suddenly she had the urge to go up to her and give her a consoling her. Khushi felt a lump in her throat and she turned away to look at Arnav. He had a horrified expression on his face as he took in the girl in front of him.
The girl, Priya, was a painful sight. Her pallor was pale, multiple bruises and scratches on her arms. She was shivering visibly. She slowly raised her head to look at him. Her eyes were hollow and expressionless. That only lasted a second. Her eyed widened when she looked at him and the next second, she broke out in sobs.
And then the scene shifted. Suddenly, there was a pale, bruised, shivering, and sobbing Khushi standing in front of him. The sobs that escaped Priya were Khushi's. He had seen this before. He had heard this before. He had done this to his wife before. He closed his eyes shut and lowered his head but the memory wouldn't fade. He felt a gentle squeeze on his hand and the memory became more vivid. His heart shattered as the realization hit him like a physical blow.
The woman standing next to him right now, holding onto his hand, and supporting him was the same woman who had looked like this girl five years ago. He had done that to her. He felt too disgusted with himself to touch her. His grip on her hand automatically loosened but she didn't let go.
"He's the one!" Priya bellowed, breaking the pin drop silence. Arnav's eyes flew open but he willed himself to not look at her. He felt Khushi freeze next to him. He heard Priya take a couple of staggering steps closer to his bed.
"He's the one who tried to help me! He...Thank you! Thank you!" Priya sobbed even harder. Gratefulness dripped from the words she had spoken. Arnav's head turned to face her slowly and his heart clenched.
She was so young. She was beautiful. And he had a nagging feeling that she must have been a fun loving girl. She must have been a happy girl with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. The smile was replaced by tears and the twinkle in her eyes by hollow depths.
Priya walked up to him until she stood opposite from Khushi. She folded her hands together in a grateful gesture as she faced Arnav.
"T-Thank Y-y-you so much S-sir. I...I don't k-know what would h-have h-happened if you didn't..." Priya sobbed quietly, looking at him gratefully.
Arnav took his hand out of Khushi's grip and tentatively reached up to lower the girl's hands. He shook her head sideways, asking her not to do that.
"Please...don't...don't cry." Arnav pleaded with the girl.
She tried to control her sobs immediately. Khushi extended a handkerchief towards her and gave her a small smile. Priya took the hankie and mumbled a thank you. As she dabbed at her tears, Khushi reached for Arnav's hand again. Her heart sank a little when his hand didn't close around hers.
Priya looked at Khushi's left hand as it held onto Arnav's. She saw the wedding band and engagement ring and understanding dawned upon her. She looked up at Khushi to find her frowning slightly at the man who had saved her last night.
"He is a very good man." Priya sniffled and Khushi looked at her. "Who else puts their life in danger to help strangers these days? You're lucky to have a husband like him."
Khushi smiled at her and looked at Arnav. She fought the urge to frown. His jaw was clenched tightly. His eyes fixed on nothing in particular in his lap deliberately. His eyebrows knit together and his lips pressed into a thin line of disagreement.
Priya turned to the inspector. "Sir...he's not one of the abductors."
"Are you sure, Ms Priya?" Inspector Rao asked and Khushi shot him a glare. What the hell was the man's problem?
Priya nodded firmly. "I'm sure. I can't forget the face of the man who tried to help me. It's definitely him." Priya turned to look at Arnav respectfully.
Inspector Rao walked up to Arnav's bedside and held up his right hand by the elbow. Khushi's anger flared instantly.
"Do you know how he got these?" Inspector Rao questioned.
Priya squinted at the marks and then her eyes widened a little. "I...I'm so sorry! I think I did that...I think at one point...while you were fighting...one of them got a hold on me and my instinct was to just hold on to you...I must've have scratched you in the process...I'm so sorry."
Arnav looked at her and gave her a curt nod, indicating that he was thankful for her confirmation. With a grateful glance and another thank you' later, Priya had walked out with the policemen. Inspector Rao and Mr. Sharma remained behind.
"We'll just have her signatures on her statement in a few minutes and then I will let the doctor know that you're okay to be discharged. Thank you for being a good citizen Mr. Raizada and sorry for my rude behaviour. Just trying to do my job." The inspector's demeanour was completely different now. The hostility was gone. He was even smiling a little at Arnav. He turned to the lawyer. "Mr. Sharma, come with me. We will complete the paperwork."
Mr. Sharma nodded at Khushi and then followed the inspector out. Arnav leaned back on the pillows and closed his eyes. More as a means of avoiding looking at her rather than out of relief. But she knew him well. Too well.
"Arnav." She said authoratively. She waited a whole minute for his response but he didn't say anything nor did he open his eyes. "Arnav. Look at me."
He tried to clear his head which was filled with painful memories from the past. He felt as if he had just woken up from his usual nightmare. He opened his eyes with tremendous effort and looked at her, trying to put on a neutral expression and shutter his eyes.
She looked at him for a second and then smirked, taking a seat on the bed so that she was facing him.
"You know...You can put that damn mask on as many times as you want...but I can see through it. And you know that." Khushi smiled at him before kissing his cheek. He lowered his eyes and she went on. "I understand, Arnav. You don't have to hide it from me. I'd rather you don't try to hide it from me. You can take your time overcoming those memories, Arnav...I just...I need you to promise me something today...well...two things, really."
He looked up at her questioningly for a few seconds and then nodded.
"Promise me that you won't disagree with a decision I've made." Khushi said in a quiet voice.
"What decision?"
Khushi shook her head. "First, promise me."
Arnav looked sceptical for a few seconds but then gave in, seeing that she wasn't going to budge any time soon.
"Okay fine...I promise."
"I've decided that you'll stay at my house..." She saw Arnav open his mouth to argue so she spoke before he interrupted. "At least until the injuries heal. And you can't back out now. You promised."
"You cheated." He accused, a small smile tugging at his lips. Khushi chuckled. "What's the second promise?" he asked.
Khushi let go of his hand and cupped his face. She looked into his eyes and spoke clearly without the slightest trace of hesitancy.
"Promise me that once we get home, things will go back to how they were yesterday before this incident happened."
She had seen the pained look on his face when he saw Priya. She knew he had recalled the past. She, herself, had related Priya's state to her own. Except, she had been able to push away the memories, whereas he seemed to have embraced them again. She had seen him turn towards his shell but she had stopped him for now. This promise would make sure he didn't retrace all the steps they've taken so far in this relationship.
She could see he was mulling over her words. His expression was serious, his eyes distant as he thought about her words. A small frown appeared on his face at one point. A long minute passed before he took a deep breath in, let it out and then spoke.
"I'm sorry...I can't promise that."
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20 January 2015
Chapter 33: Heart Over Mind
Arnav was taken aback at the accusation. What the fuck? His brain clicked into action, the fog cleared, and he went through the events of the night.
He had left the orphanage and had started driving towards Khushi's house. He had seen the three men off to the side of the road in a rather secluded area. Then he had noticed the girl they were assaulting. She seemed to be struggling with them. He had stopped and gone to help her. He had fought with the men; one of them had pulled out a gun and fired at him but missed. He had felt a head splitting pain shoot across his forehead, he had heard a gunshot and then...he had woken up in the hospital. Now this made sense. The inspector, the case, the accusation.
"I was trying to help her! I was trying to save her from them!" Arnav defended himself at once. "I was driving down that street and saw her struggling with those three bastards! I went to help her!"
The ugly inspector sneered and lifted Arnav's right arm. "See these?" He nodded towards the scratch marks on his forearm. "Looks like she tried to scratch you while trying to get away. We found similar scratches on her hand too. These marks are similar to what we found on the other three men's arms and faces."
Arnav eyed the scar, confused. "I...I don't know how I got these...I don't remember scratching her...maybe this happened while I was trying to fight off those guys but...I was trying to save her!"
The inspector kept repeating things and kept probing Arnav while Arnav kept defending himself with the same sentence. At last, Khushi had had enough.
"ENOUGH!" She yelled angrily, silencing all of them immediately.
Her voice pierced through Arnav like ice pricks. It was then he remembered that she was still in the room and it suddenly dawned upon him that she had just heard the policemen accuse him of being involved in a rape case. A Rape Case! A fucking rape case of all things.
Oh how easy it would be for her to believe them. How easy it would be for her to relate this to her own experience. How easy it would be for her newly reformed trust to shatter. How easy it would be for her to hold him responsible for this. How easy it would be for Arnav's world to fall apart once again"but this time forever.
Yet, he couldn't think of what to say to her. He just looked at her blankly, feeling numb. It was as if the walls were closing in on him. The anger on her face gave him the chills. He hadn't seen that expression on her face since the day she left. She wasn't looking at him and that made him feel even more numb. His heart felt like it was enveloped in a thin layer of ice.
"I think you've made yourself clear, Inspector Rao." Her tone was clipped. "You're accusing him of being involved in this case and he has defended himself. I don't think that repeating the accusations will change his statement. I don't think there's any more need to discuss this." She spoke icily but firmly to the inspector.
"Listen lady...this is a serious matter. He better confess his crime because once the girl regains her consciousness as we get her statement, he'll have to deal with harsher punishment for""
"If he's guilty." Khushi snapped and cut off the inspector's rant. "The law clearly states that all accused individuals are innocent until proven guilty. You have accused him but he hasn't been proven guilty. So at this moment, he's innocent. You're trying to influence his legal statement by interrogating him without any solid evidence." She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. "It's almost like you're trying to force him to accept a crime that he denies committing. I think it best if you leave before I call my lawyer and get him to discuss the lawsuit of emotional torture and trying to influence an innocent to accept a false accusation. You have thirty seconds to decide."
Her expression was angry. Her lips set into a thin line. Her eyes shooting daggers.
The officer glared at her for a few moments and Khushi glared back with twice the intensity. At last, the inspector left with his colleagues. Arnav stared at her while she stared at the retreating backs of the officials. His eyes hadn't left her face since she'd spoken her first word. Arnav's throat was oddly dry. His eyes stung without tears and his lungs ached with every breath. As soon as the policemen had left, Arnav squeezed her hand gently, afraid to let it go. His heart throbbed nervously.
"Khushi...I...I didn't do it. I was trying to help her." He said desperately.
A part of him laughed at his feeble attempt because the sentence he'd just said probably held no meaning for her. Why should it, after all he had done to her? Why had he even bothered to say it out loud?
Khushi slowly turned to face him and looked him straight in the eye. "I believe you."
Arnav just looked at her blankly, unsure of whether or not he had heard that right. She didn't say anything more than that and he didn't ask any more questions. There was a simple question floating in his mind in big red block letters: Why?
She believed him.
WHY?!?
They stayed like that for a couple of minutes. He waited for the illusion to break and to realize that she was actually gone. That she had run out of the room as soon as she had heard the accusation but she was still here.
He looked at her, waiting for her to say something more while she just looked at him with a gentle expression on her face. Gentle yet unreadable. Then, she slowly tried to move her hand out of his grip. Instantly, he held on even tighter, afraid of letting go. What if he let go and she never came back? What if she actually believed the officers?
It was as if she had read his mind, seen through his fears and worries. "I do believe you Arnav. I'm just going to go talk to the doctor to see if there are any formalities and probably give my lawyer a call. This inspector looks like he's hell bent on proving you guilty. I also need to call Aman and let him know what happened. I'll come back in a few minutes."
He let go of her hand reluctantly, fear clearly visible in his eyes. She gave him a small smile, cupped his face with one hand and placed a kiss on his forehead.
"I'll be back." She patted his cheek once before she left the room.
He lay there thinking about this new issue and he realized that he couldn't fathom why she believed him. No matter how much he tried. It made more sense for her to believe that he was guilty of this crime. He'd committed this crime before. Hell, she was the victim then! So, why did she seem so sure that he was innocent this time around?
Eventually his thoughts drifted from why she had believed him to why he was accused in the first place. He thought intensely about the incident.
He was driving to Khushi's house from the orphanage when he had seen those three men manhandling the young woman. He had gotten out of his car to help her and gotten into a physical fight with the three goons. One of them had pulled out a gun, aimed a shot and fired. He had missed and had nearly shot Arnav's arm. Arnav instinctively looked at his left arm where he found the bandage. He looked once again at the scratches on his other arm. For the life of him, he couldn't recall how he had gotten those.
(Purple = Arnav's inner voice #1, Green = Arnav's inner voice # 2, Orange = Arnav's inner voice #3)
Why are you worrying when you know you've done nothing wrong?
Because I don't want to lose her again. Things are finally returning to normal. We seem to have a chance at a happy future but this might ruin it all.
Well, she said she believes you.
Exactly! It makes no sense for her to believe me! Why does she believe me? I did the same thing to her all those years ago, didn't I?
Yes but she knows under what circumstances you did what you did. She gave you the benefit of the doubt. And why are you asking me? Why don't you ask her why she believes you?
When she comes back, I will.
You mean, IF she comes back? I think she let you down easy...I don't think she's coming back. She probably headed home...you know...to pack her bags and leave. Go away from you again.
NO! Arnav's heart sank immediately. No! She'll tell me if she wants to leave. She told me last time...and...And she said she believes me. I've done nothing wrong!
According to you. Those cops seem to think otherwise. How are you going to prove your innocence?
Arnav willed his mind to think over every detail but he couldn't. The darker side of his kept saying that Khushi was gone again. She won't come back. He had found her and now he had lost her again.
---
"I don't know Aman...he seems really distressed...I don't want to question him..." Khushi chewed on her lower lip nervously.
Aman had waited for Angad to drop off Kripa, Anjali and their kids with Amber and Aditya and then the two men had rushed to the hospital. They had met Khushi a few doors down from Arnav's room. Upon questioning, they'd realized Khushi didn't know much about the situation. All she knew was he was found injured and unconscious on the street with four other people. Only one of the five was a girl and the other four were accused for an attempted gang rape.
"Well, the only person he'll say anything to is you." Angad spoke to her encouragingly. "And you know exactly why."
Aman looked between the two confusedly. Sure, he didn't know why exactly Khushi had left Arnav all those days ago but he knew there was a fight after which Khushi had left. He didn't know why Arnav was always so guilty about it. He knew better than to ask. It was a family matter and though he had worked with ASR and his family for years, he wasn't family. But he figured that Angad was aware of what Khushi and Arnav's history was. Aman was curious to know, but he didn't ask.
"But wont he think that I don't believe him if I question him?" Khushi asked, sounding stressed herself.
"You'll figure out a way, Khushi. Go and speak to him. I'll go speak to the inspector and then I'll talk to the lawyer when he gets here." Angad nodded at her.
Khushi looked at Aman. "Did you tell anyone at home?"
Aman knew by home, she meant ASR's family. "No. I thought I should come and see before I call them."
"Don't!" Khushi said a little too loudly. Aman flinched and Khushi looked at him apologetically. "Sorry...I didn't mean to yell. It's just...given Nani's condition, I don't think you should tell them as of yet. Arnav is innocent...if we can settle this matter before it gets out of hand, they don't need to know. You just make sure the media doesn't get his name."
She sounded so much like ASR as she listed orders, and Aman almost smiled. He nodded at her orders and followed Angad to meet the doctor. Khushi took a deep breath and walked towards Arnav's room.
Her heart clenched at what she saw when she entered. His eyes were squeezed shut, his eyebrows knit in a frown, pain was written all over his expression, and the sole tear rolling down his cheek was the proof. He held his hands together, fingers entwined, his knuckles were white. He was too engrossed in his thoughts to hear her approach. She reached out and covered his clasped hands with her tiny soft one.
His eyes flew open at once, he let out a breath he must've been holding and his head snapped to her within a second. Relief replaced the pain in his eyes and the words he spoke next broke her heart.
"You believe me?" His voice was strained. His tone was pleading.
Khushi pursed her lips, put a hand around his head and pulled him into a hug. His head rested against her chest, his hands winding around her waist. She wrapped one of her hands around his shoulders, pulling him closer, while her other hand remained tangled in his hair, caressing soothingly.
"I do believe you, Arnav. Don't doubt that for another second." She whispered urgently after a few moments. She needed him to understand that she was here and he needed to trust her when she said that she believed him. He needed to trust her trust in him.
She felt him tilt his head back to look at her. "Why?" he rasped.
Khushi gave him a small smile and detangled herself from him. She took one of his hands in hers and looked up at him, her expression was sincere. She took a seat next to him, her shoulder touching his incidentally.
"I'm not going to lie to you. My brain told me to believe the inspectors. My brain told me to get out of here and get away." She saw his expression change and she went on quickly. "But that's the brain's job. It always brings in logic. It thinks too practically." She gave him a warm smile.
"Sometimes, you have to stop thinking from here," she tapped his temple once, "and think from here." She tapped his chest right over his heart. "You can't think with your brain all the time...for some decisions, you have to follow your heart. If I only thought with my mind...Aditya and Amber wouldn't be in our lives right now...I listened to my heart when I was decided that I would give birth to them...even at that time, my heart and my mind didn't agree. Like today, even though my brain was telling me to believe the cops, my heart put up a good fight. My heart says that you haven't done this...that you're innocent...and I believe my heart. I believe you. I believe you're innocent."
She felt him relax next to him and smiled to herself. He was like a small child sometimes. You had to explain things to him in simple terms and analogies...and she was glad that he had understood this with ease. Not that she could blame him. She had seen exactly how vulnerable he was behind the strong front he put up. She looked at him and saw him looking at their entwined hands. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he looked back at her. She changed her expression into a mock-stern one.
"Now, if you think I don't believe you one more time...I will give you a time out." She said in a mock serious tone.
And that did the trick. Despite his earlier thoughts, despite his earlier fears, despite the unfortunate situation, Arnav couldn't help but smile when he recalled how he had sat on that bench in her yard with a finger on his lips.
"Can I ask you something?" Khushi said after a few minutes. She waited for his response and when he nodded, she went on. "Can you tell me what happened?"
She felt his grip tighten on her hand. Arnav took a deep breath and then began telling her what had happened once he had left. Khushi listened intently, trying to find anything at all in his description that she could use as evidence to prove his innocence. Nothing. He hadn't stopped anywhere else except for when he saw the three men with the young girl. There were no witnesses to prove his statements. Of course it looked suspicious when he was found along with the other three men and a semi conscious girl who showed signs of being abused. The injuries Arnav had could easily be mistaken for being a result of the girl's attempts at escaping. The girl's statement was the only thing that could prove anything.
"How is she?" Arnav asked in the moments of silence that followed his explanation.
Khushi knew instantly whom he was asking about. Khushi had gone to see the girl but wasn't able to go in because the cop said no one was to meet her until she gave her statement. Khushi had spoken to the nurse to make sure that she was fine. Being a woman who had gone through this before, Khushi was worried about her. She made a note to herself to speak to her once the cops would let her visit.
Khushi shook her head in response to his question. "Traumatized. I spoke to her nurse; they've put her to sleep for the night. She...she kept becoming hysterical as soon as any male staff approached her...the incident is too fresh in her mind. The nurse said she should wake no later than noon tomorrow. Y-you'll have to stay in the hospital until she gives her statement."
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Angad and Aman walked in. After greeting Arnav, they informed the two that Arnav's injuries were minimal. The bullet had grazed his arm and that wound would take about two weeks to heal. The small injury just below his hairline on the right side of his head had needed four stitches and that would take its time healing.
"The inspector said that the girl's statement would decide whether or not he'd be involved further in this case. The lawyer said that even if she agrees with Arnav's statement, though, Arnav may be asked to present himself in court as a witness. He'll be back tomorrow to speak with Arnav." Angad explained.
"That's fine." Arnav said decisively.
Angad hesitated to say something else and exchanged a nervous glance with Aman.
"What?" Khushi asked, worry seeping into her tone.
"One of the three men...who were harassing the girl...one of them was shot...he...he died." Angad paused. "Arnav...did...did you...?" Angad trailed off, leaving his question unfinished.
Arnav shook his head. "No. I couldn't reach the gun...I heard a gunshot being fired before I passed out, though."
"Maybe the girl shot him..." Khushi said in a small voice. The three men turned to look at her, surprised at the slight hint of menacing rage in her tone. "What?" She asked. "Defensive behaviour...humans go to lengths to try and save themselves from danger. Maybe she shot him to save herself. I would have."
Arnav shuddered slightly at her words. Khushi was never one to have violent thoughts. This wasn't the first time he was seeing this. He'd seen her slap those two men outside the restaurant the other night and now this. He knew that change had obviously been brought on by what she had to go through. He shuddered again as unwanted visions filled his mind. Khushi squeezed his hand, sensing what he was thinking.
After a few moments of silence, Angad spoke up.
"I think we should leave...only one person is allowed to stay overnight with him...and that too outside. Since this is a police case, there will be a constable outside this door and only a certain people will be able to come in until the girl gives her statement."
Khushi nodded. "Yeah, you two should go...I'll stay here."
Arnav looked at her immediately. "No...You need to go home." Khushi looked at him confusedly. Before she could say anything, he went on. "Amber and Aditya will need you there, Khushi."
Khushi was torn. She felt that she should stay here with Arnav but at the same time, being a mother, she should be with her kids too. Never in her life had she thought she would have to choose between them. Angad saw and recognized her dilemma.
"They were already asleep when we left. Anjali and Kripa are there." He explained to Arnav in the hope that he would let her stay.
Angad didn't relish the idea of them separating tonight. They should stay together until this was sorted out. That way, they could keep each other from falling into pits of dark thoughts. But Arnav had other plans.
"Khushi, please. Go home...I'm fine...They haven't seen you since you dropped them off at school. They'll worry..." Arnav pleaded with her.
A couple minutes later, Khushi finally gave in and agreed to go home with Angad. Aman volunteered to stay. Khushi looked meaningfully at Angad and understanding her need to be alone with Arnav for a few minutes, Angad and Aman headed out the room.
Khushi shifted on the bed so that she sat next to him, yet facing him completely. She cupped his face with her free hand, the other hand still in Arnav's possessive grip.
"Please go to sleep right away. The more you rest, the better it is for you. I'll be back tomorrow morning and you will get in trouble with me if I notice that you haven't slept properly." She scolded him affectionately, making him smile.
"Anything else, M'am?" Arnav asked teasingly.
Khushi knew, at that moment, that they would make it through this situation too. The sense of normalcy even in the most abnormal circumstances and their ability to be normal with each other in these seemingly tough times was comforting.
Khushi chuckled and shook her head. "Well...maybe one more thing...just so you don't go doubting it again...I do believe you."
Arnav's heart melted under the warmth in her eyes. It was if that one simple statement from her had doubled the size of his heart just so that it could hold the increased amount of love for her. He wanted to let her know what her support meant to him but of course, words evaded him. As usual.
But then he recalled Kripa's advice. He couldn't put his feelings in words right now, sure...but he could express them to her. She would understand what he was trying to say, he knew. As Kripa's advice rang in his ears, the worries and the current situation flew out of his mind. It was as if he had travelled back in time and he was back at the orphanage on a Friday night, sitting across from her.
He smiled and squeezed her hand before leaning closer to her. His lips hovered over her cheek for a couple seconds. This was her chance to back out if she wanted to. She didn't.
He touched her right cheek with his lips tenderly, feeling the heat rush up to her cheek at his touch. He pulled away and looked at her twinkling eyes. Yeah, she understood. "That's to thank you for trusting me." He leaned towards her again and kissed her left cheek. He pulled away and looked at her blushing face. "And that's...just like that."
Khushi blushed profusely at that and couldn't help but chuckle at his almost sheepish expression. Then, surprising him like she always did, she cupped his left cheek and kissed his right cheek twice.
"Those are because Amber would scowl at me for not giving you healing kisses again..." Khushi leaned in once again and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead.
"And that's...to thank you for saving the girl tonight." Khushi gave him a grateful smile before giving him a hug. As she pulled away, she kissed his left cheek once. "And that is...just like that." She imitated him, making him chuckle.
With one final comforting hug, Khushi forced him to lie down, covered him with a blanket, and ran her fingers through his hair once before walking towards the door. She turned to look at him before she left and found him gazing at her lovingly. As the butterflies went crazy in her stomach, Khushi closed the door and left...albeit reluctantly.
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